Funny Sayings

Funny sayings are a great way to infuse a little laughter into your day or to simply put a smile on your face. Without a doubt, humor is one of best methods for dealing with the stress of life's challenges and obstacles.

Positive Quotes List:

A man who correctly guesses a woman's age may be smart, but he's not very bright. ~ Lucille Ball

That's the thing about Mother Nature, she really doesn't care what economic bracket you're in. ~ Whoopi Goldberg

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. ~ Joan Rivers

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, "Get the hell off my property." ~ Joan Rivers

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. ~ Bob Hope

Funny Thoughts on Hallmark Cards:

We have been friends for a very long time... (inside card) - What do you say we stop?

Congrats on getting married... (Inside card) - It's not everyday you decide to ruin your life.

I'm so miserable without you... (Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.

When we were together, you said you'd die for me... (Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.

Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go.... (Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.

Happy Birthday! You look great for your age.... (Inside card) - Almost lifelike!

I always wanted to have someone, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life... (Inside card) - I've changed my mind.

Seen on a Tee shirt:

Here are a few examples. If you want to see more, simply click on the images.

Do You Know Someone Who Could Benefit From Inspirational Thoughts and Encouragement? Then Share and Lift's Someone's Day.